Without the further ado:
Chapter 14: Masquerade
(we begin with a huge-ass quote from Phantom In The Opera, which is really cheap and subltle, like it's a sotry about spies and Eggsy goes "rogue". and we know it, so why the fuck bother with this)
"Why is this the first time I see you around?" The American agent said looking down at Eggsy with a raised brow.
HMMMMMMMM
"I've been working undercover for a while, sir. I just came back." Eggsy said in his best American dialect and smiled amicably, giving the man a small shrug. "My file was confidential."
Ok, first off, DIALECT? DIALECTS ARE LINGUISTIC and associated with morphology and syntax, ACCENTS ARE PHONETIC. Christo.
If so first person Egg would see would be Director of CIA branch. And we live in a wirld when simpler excuse "fresh out of Langley exists", but why do I bother that author even went to check on CIA wiki, or watched one ep of Homeland.
He cleared his throat. Never had he been so grateful at Merlin for forcing him to learn different dialects and accents during that second year as an agent as he was now.
One year????? Ymmm, for basics Egg should start with Welsh (bc it was proven that it is best way to learn every other language). But i doubt that, if no then fuck one year for multiple accents is a bit unreal if Egg was also completing missions.
The man looked at the file again and back at Eggsy, then back at the file and back at Eggsy, trying to wrap his mind around the fact that he suddenly had a thirty something year old agent in front of him whom he had never seen, but who apparently had a higher clearance than himself.
CALL SECURITY YOU DUMB FUCK, ASK FOR AN ID
He was going to have a few words with Johnson about this.
IT's a fucking CIA not episode of spying on other office.
"Well, you can go to Joanna, she has the schedule the Kingsman people sent us for Friday." The man cleared his throat, feeling like he had swallowed led. "I will have to talk to Jonathan, though. I'm not sure we should send a new agent to the meeting."
Then don't?????? Why CIA stuff is handled like stuff in ep of the Office?????
"Oh, but I'm not a new agent," Eggsy flashed him a winning smile, trying to let the man's contempt slide off. "Besides, I won't be in the meeting. I'll just be there as an information resource and backup. You never know when you might need that."
The man grunted, neither denying not confirming Eggsy's statement. He waved his hand, clearly dismissing Eggsy without another word.
Eggsy took a deep breath and turned around, leaving the room quickly, feeling his blood boil.
What the fuck was the man's problem? Why was it such a problem that Eggsy had been "undercover" without the man's knowledge? He was not Eggsy's boss, and Merlin's covers were always flawless. There was nothing wrong with the file - the magician had made sure of that - so why did this guy had to be so bloody difficult?
Is his brain damaged? it's CIA not fucking Sterling Archer's workplace.
Eggsy walked over to Joanna's office - the head operation's coordinator - and knocked on the door, hoping he actually had the right door. He had memorized the blueprints of the entire complex on his plane ride to the States, but it always took a bit of getting used to the place as blueprints and an actual building were two very different things.
"Come in," said a soft voice that could barely be heard through the door.
Eggsy did as he was told, immediately smiling at the petite woman sitting on the other side of the desk. She had long black hair, and soft dove eyes that made her look harmless. The woman looked at him with confusion for a second before reciprocating the smile.
"I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are," the woman admitted.
"Oh, My name's Daniel." Eggsy walked closer to shake the woman's hand, the name still new to his tongue.
I mean, no introduction by PA, no last name, no rank, no info about why is he here. Its basic into in militaristic/espionage attire.
They had decided with Merlin it would be better to completely change his identity, as some of the American agents had worked with him briefly throughout the years, which was why he was currently wearing brown contact lenses and had dyed his hair a convincing shade of light blond.
He had to admit, he felt ridiculous with the new look, but there was nothing he could do - he needed to be less recognizable.
HE IS A SUPER SECTER SPY????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????
The woman shook his hand, waving with her hand for Eggsy to sit. "So, Daniel, are you new here?"
Her assistant does a really shit job, bc she would be informed before the meeting.
"No ma'am. I actually just came back from a mission." Eggsy sat down softly, leaning forward. "My file should be right at the top of your list."
The woman turned to check her computer, a look of comprehension reaching her eyes as she read the blond's file. "That's quite an impressive resume," she muttered softly, turning back to face Eggsy. "I see you have been requested to attend as backup for the meeting on Friday."
I second my previous argument.
"Well, there's not much to know," she said as she leaned back. "You'll need to get yourself a nice mask but-"
"Sorry?" Eggsy spluttered
The woman raised a brow. "It's a masquerade. You are supposed to wear some sort of mask." She shrugged. "It's standard Kingsman protocol, or so I'm told."
The disdain in her voice was thick, making Eggsy wonder what exactly the Americans had gotten up to that the head of operations of the CIA could not stand them.
THIS WOMAN IS MY HERO???? ok but Masquarade as a mean of official meeting to discuss SRS BUISSNESS????
"They prefer to keep their identities a secret," she grunted, rubbing her eyes as she glared at the invitation sitting on her desk. "Bunch of drama queens if you ask me."
Eggsy chuckled at the irony
I AM LAUGHING TOO, BC THE IRONY IS BIGGER AND THIS FIC IS A JOKE
The woman nodded, turning once again to her computer. "Oh and Daniel, report back in with me once you are done with this meeting. I'll have your next mission ready."
Oh, she was going to be really angry once she realized that Eggsy wasn't coming back.
(yet another flashback, because one-two sentence allusion to previous events is so overrated!)
Harry walked into the living room, two drinks in hand. His eyes twinkled in the low light as he rested the drinks on the table and walked over to where Eggsy was sprawled on the couch, his shirt partly open.
Harry smiled at the younger man, his eyes hungrily drinking in the small patch of hair that was visible. He kissed the younger man softly, before turning around to turn on the speaker. He picked up the ipod that was sitting on the table and took a moment to pick a song.
He smiled as the soft music started playing, turning to offer his hand to the younger man.
Eggsy raised a brow, intrigued, as he accepted Harry's hand. "What are we doin'?"
Take a guess, Sherlock. Why am i even surprised that he is so dumb?
Merlin told me you needed a few more dance lessons," Harry said softly as he pulled Eggsy closer by the waist.
*YAWNS*
Eggsy's brows raised up to his hairline "you wanna do this right now?"
"Eggsy we gotta fill this flashback quota!"
Harry chuckled as he began moving, taking Eggsy with him for the ride. Eggsy looked down at his feet for a second. He had the left box down, but it was very different practicing on his own than having an actual person there that he could step on.
He wasn't bad at dancing - he had rhythm - but ballroom dancing was not something he had had to practice since his gymnastics days
I AM SORRY BUT HOW THIS IS CONNECTED?
(...)and the shite he had learned about dancing when he was ten hadn't sticked. Ask him to do a 180 split leap, ask him to do a one hand cartwheel and he'd do it, but ballroom dancing....
Still no connection, correlation.
Harry pressed him closer as the music sped up, leading Eggsy completely. "Stop thinking and just go with the music," Harry whispered in his ear, suddenly taking Eggsy's hand to turn him.
I am so bored by OBLIGATORY DANCE LESSON
The younger man held back a yelp as he suddenly felt Harry turn him and catch him, dipping him all in one movement. The man smiled at him deviously, stealing a kiss before straightening Eggsy up to continue dancing.
Eggsy couldn't help but chuckle, feeling more relaxed than before. It would be alright. Harry wasn't going to let him make a fool of himself, and, even if he did manage to embarrass himself, this was Harry.
Soon Harry was moving Eggsy's hand to rest at his waist as he placed his own on Eggsy's shoulder. "Lead," the man said simply, not bothering to stop to let Eggsy gather his wits.
The younger man rose to the challenge beautifully, quickly counting the beats in his head as the music slowed down. He flashed Harry a smile as they danced, the music finally coming to an end.
And people are mad at Rey for being Mary Sue
A new song started immediately after, however, and Harry moved Eggsy's hand away to adjust to the tango that was now playing. He placed his hand on Eggsy's upper back as Eggsy adjusted and placed his own on Harry's lower back, looking up into his partner's loving eyes.
He straightened up, almost listening to Merlin's voice when he had barked at Eggsy - all those months ago - to correct his posture.
I am having foolish hopes that Merwin will be endgame in this fic, BC EVERYTHING IS BETTER THAN THIS SHOUJO MANGA SHIT.
Harry took the first step forward slowly with his left, moving Eggsy backwards with his body. Eggsy moved easily with Harry, guiding himself by the pressure Harry emanated when moving.
Harry smiled at Eggsy as the younger man slowly eased into the dance, looking less and less at his feet and more and more at Harry's enticing eyes.
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I wish someone would feel my frustration rn
The music came to an end sooner than Eggsy would have wanted, but Harry moved away before he could ask him for another dance.
OH NO
The man licked his lips as he grabbed Eggsy's hand. Eggsy frowned with worry as he saw a glint of fear in Harry's eyes.
I was telling this from the start and i repeat the way Harry acts towards Eggsy, if anyone would do this to me on daily matter I would run away with a help of Old Gods and New
The man cleared his bone dry throat, and gave his partner a tentative smile. "Eggsy.... I know we haven't been together terribly long but in our line of work..." Harry chuckled, shaking himself mentally.
ERROR //body.50.yo/man //not/connected /wit //mind.18.yo.girl CONNECTION DISABLED
He cleared his throat again and said "I just know that I want to spend the rest of my days with you - however many those may be, so..." Harry kneeled on the floor, pulled out a thin silver band - a small representation of the marriage ring that was to come - and whispered "would you do me the honor of being my husband?"
Eggsy's breath hitched as he covered his gaping mouth. "Yes," he sobbed out, a grin blooming out. He kissed Harry, softly, letting the older man put the ring on his finger.
THIS IS A FUCKING RIP OFF OF CHANDLER PROPOSING TO MONICA AND I AM WRITING LETTER OF COMPLAINT
"We'll have to go together to choose the actual rings," Harry explained, still kneeling on the floor. "But I wanted to give you something today."
I am having horrible flashbacks from time I watched Ai no Kusabi and I can only think of penisu ringu.
Eggsy said nothing, too overwhelmed with happiness to speak. He kissed Harry again, coming to kneel with his future husband.
I KNEW IT. I AM WRITING TO NBC SO THEY CAN SUE!
(flashback is over)
Eggsy smoothed out the creases of his bodysuit, before putting on a tightly fit black suit. He sighed as he looked at himself in the mirror. It felt strange not wearing his Kingsman suit. It felt... wrong, almost.
He fixed his cufflinks and picked up a black velvet and silk mask that Merlin had sent him for this particular mission. The mask was made in such a way that more than half his face was covered - something both Eggsy and Merlin were grateful for.
Wait, wasn't he given a mask from CIA. Lack of consistency in just one chapter. That is an achievement
While Eggsy hadn't worked with more than two of the American agents during his six years as a Kingsman, they still knew his face. He had also worked with Roxy a number of times - and spent many evenings at her house watching movies and eating junk food or drinking themselves sick - and the young woman would be attending as the representative of the British branch.
In other words, the mask was the only thing that would at this point keep him from being compromised.
OTHER THAN HIS VOICE, BODY TYPE, BODY LANGUAGE OR ROXY BEING LEGITIMATE KINGSMAN AGENT WHILE EGG GOT HIS POSITION BC HE IS PROTAGONIST
"Alright, let's get this over with," Merlin grunted in his ear, his voice stained with worry.
"Is this a secure line?" Eggsy asked under his breath as he flagged down a cab to take him to a small bar which had been created during the time when prohibition was still in place.
"Yes, you're clear. I'll start running interference to the signal they have on you once you get to the party. You won't have much time before I activate it, so you need to move fast." Merlin said in a hushed tone.
HE should be working alone, having Merlin compromises them both. Wanna see good deep deep cover? Watch Chuck s04 and admire Mary Bartowski played by flawless Linda Hamilton.
(Eggsy arrives at place, turns out he has to go through bunch of tunnels. That seems unnecessary, but what can you do RICH PEOPLE)
Eggsy hummed as he stumbled his way through the tunnel. He froze for a second as he heard footsteps coming from behind him. His hands itched to grab his gun but he suppressed the urge, opting instead to walk faster.
He reached the end of the tunnel soon enough, the sudden blinding light putting him further on the edge. Eggsy's eyes roamed the platform and he quickly found the small shuttle that looked much like the one they kept in London.
He quickly made his way to the shuttle, a small yelp escaping him as the bloody thing started moving as soon as he stepped a foot inside. He was jerked onto his seat as the shuttle gathered speed.
"Bloody hell, these people 'ave no sense of safety," Eggsy grunted as he fixed his suit.
"You should put your mask on now, Eggsy" Merlin recommended, as he watched the feed from Eggsy's glasses.
NOW?
Eggsy did as he was told, feeling slightly better as his face disappeared from view. Eggsy knew he wasn't safe - that was a ludicrous thought - but he certainly felt better knowing he wasn't immediately recognizable anymore.
The shuttle came to a screeching halt, forcing Eggsy to hang on to the seat for dear life as the shuttle jerked forwards and then back. The man cursed under his breath, getting up quickly. He didn't want to spend a second longer than necessary on that bloody thing.
"Good evening," said a tall, tan man, who regarded Eggsy with cold eyes. "If I could have your invitation please."
Eggsy passed him the expensive looking piece of paper as he observed his surroundings. The room had two exits - although where they led was anyone's guess.
So the shuttle was his best bet for when he left.
Is setting stolen from HP Gringott's? I do not care that much to analyse that.
Thank you," the man murmured as he gave Eggsy back the invitation. He led Eggsy through a door that stood at the far end of the circular room, and left Eggsy to his own devices once they reached what Eggsy assumed was the reception hall.
This murmuring is a disease in this AU. ERADICATE
Eggsy looked around the room filled with masks and alert eyes - all of them agents whose features were impossible to make out.
"Do you see that black door on the second floor near where the railing ends and it becomes a low marble wall?" Merlin murmured.
"What about it?" Eggsy murmured, trying to move his lips as little as possible.
"That's Albee's - their Arthur's - office. You will be able to access the information from there."
So? OHOHOHOHOHO SILLY AMERICANS!~~
Eggsy let his eyes roam the room once again, searching for Roxy. The last thing he wanted was to run into his friend today. He gave up after a few minutes as the room was too full and people's faces were too well covered to actually make out anyone's face.
He allowed himself to be swept into the crowd, slowly making his way to the room as he slyly passed the small groups of people that had formed as they talked. He made his way up the stairs quickly, trying to stay close to the wall as to avoid being seen.
"Open the door," he whispered to Merlin, crouching low as he waited for the door to click open.
After 6x05 of GOT I am very vary of any sentence with words "the door"
"I just opened it and I've started running interference." Merlin's voice was tense. "Move quickly, Eggsy. We don't have much time."
The young man pushed the door open, quickly closing it behind him. He stood up straight and looked around the room. The room was quite lit as there were two long panels of windows that allowed the moonlight to spill in. He ran towards the computer which was thankfully left on and sat down on the nearest chair.
"Insert the flash drive. It will override the system and the security measures."
Eggsy did as he was told and asked "will they be able to track this?"
"No, anything you do on that computer while the flash drive is inserted will not be traceable nor will it be visible."
The plot armors.........
Eggsy nodded, not bothering to actually answer as he began going through the transmission files.
"Hurry up, Eggsy. You have five minutes before they notice the interference," Merlin urged, biting his lip as he clenched and unclenched his hands.
Eggsy cursed under his breath. "They made sure to delete their tracks, Merlin. The file doesn't exist."
Merlin hit his desk, cursing as the tension running through his body finally began to crack.
"Wait," Eggsy murmured suddenly, leaning in as he read the files. "There's a ridiculous amount of transmissions with an unknown source in New York. Why the bloody hell are they communicating with someone there through non Kingsman methods?"
"Save all of that information on the flash drive. I will take a look at all of it tonight." Merlin sighed, clamping down on the hope that threatened to form in his mind.
Eggsy did as he was told, quickly taking out the flash drive once the information was copied. He stood up and suddenly froze as the door was thrown open to reveal Roxy sans mask.
The woman froze at the sight of the intruder, taking a second too long to process what was happening.
KINGSMAN 2014 top class my ass
Eggsy looked at the nearest window and yanked it open. They were on the second floor so there was no way the jump would kill him - or so he hoped. He jumped out of the window without looking back, hearing as a gun went off and a bullet hit the wall right next to the open window.
WHAT HAPPENED LATER TO THE WINDOW?????? IT WAS STILL THE SAME WINDOW?? WILL THIS WINDOW BE KICKED OFF KINGSMAN????
we will never know
'till the next time
XOXO
we will never know
'till the next time
XOXO
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